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Four Strange Walls

Behind the Song

Four Strange Walls was the first song I wrote after an almost 4 year writing hiatus. I have written music my entire life but at 23 and newly sober after 5 years of chaos and self-destruction, suddenly a more settled life felt very appealing. So I quit music, quit writing and got myself a sensible job, unwittingly quitting feeling in the process. I fell into the trap of thinking that I needed to settle down and be sensible, that I needed to refocus my energy into a career, saving for a mortgage and getting married.

All of this went up in smoke when I re-met Josh and within a few months I left London in a whirlwind with little more than a suitcase and a couple of bin bags of possessions. Here my new life began and gradually music began to be a part of my life again but writing was still not something I was thinking about, so Four Strange Walls took me by surprise. I was cycling home one night listening to Cary Ann Hearst and one of the lines cut me like a knife and from there the song came to me almost in its entirety.

Four Strange Walls doesn’t paint a very pretty picture but that was important to me. It was important for me to own up to the chaos, destruction and hurt I had caused and to highlight the damaging nature of addiction. Four Strange Walls is an open letter to those I had hurt in my years of addiction.

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