I once heard someone say; 'addiction is the formaldehyde that keeps trauma preserved'. This came alive for me when I first started to write again and I noticed that with it surfaced old emotions and feelings that I hadn’t dealt with since getting sober.

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It felt as though I had opened the door to years of repression and it was the first time in a long time that I was forced to sit and face my emotions head on with nothing to numb them. I would spend evenings feeling as though every bone in my body ached with the pain of needing a distraction.